With Halloween coming up just around the corner, I felt the need to take a break from the usual grind of academic work (…which has yet to be touched) to kind of get my mind wrapped around this whole concept of no longer being a kid, and yet still being adamant about dressing up for the occasion. With costumes like  “the pumpkin” or “little princess” no longer considered cute for us tweenz, teens, and young adults…we have to be a bit more innovative with our costume ideas.

Now I know what you’re thinking…you’re probably thinking “omg I smell another rant about how Halloween is meant as a good reason for girls to dress up as sluts blah blah blah blah blah…” And yes, for some that might be the case…however, this is another word of forewarning to all you party goers who are gearing up to hit the clubs/houseparties etc etc. Though the following costumes are cute and hilarious when you bring them up in conversations, in reality, if you were to show up at a party looking like the following, your chances of getting laid, and/or grabbing someone’s number is slim to none:

Exhibit A: The Lobster

Ok, so the costume is cute, it’s relatively easy to to make, and heck chances are no one at the party will have the same costume as you. I’m not hating on this because in fact in Grade 10 I was a lobster myself…but I’m don’t know. The fact that the phrase “I’m going home with crabs” or a sentence structured as “I will _________ crabs!!”  will be thrown around non-chalantly throughout the night is somewhat unpleasant and bothersome. Nonetheless…cute costume.

Exhibit B: The “Corny” Costume Oh hahah look at that a “CORNY” Costume, how clever. Is it just me, or if you were to look at the guy that wore this phallic costume from far away, it’d look like something else. The lack of kernels on the cob kind of make me think other wise. . It’s not sick, I’m just throwing it out there…

Lastly Exhibit C: The “douchebag”

Yeah ok…this two in the pink one in the stink thing…does it really need much elaboration? Just refer to the title of this one.

That’s all for now kids. Remember to have a fun and safe Halloween! Make sure to check all your candies before consuming. And if you can, give back and donate to UNICEF!